Which was going to be the lesser of two evils? No meds and risk going off the rails again? On a downwards spiral back into depression? Or stay on them and try to live in my more 'fuzzy' world, more relaxed somehow even though constant fatigue and forgetfulness plague me?
Most of those closest to me are reluctant at my decision and I get it, I really do. They've seen me through so many ups and downs over the years and I know how exhausting it has been for them. After all, I am shall we say 'more balanced somewhat' when I am on my meds. But here's the thing. I hate that I have to rely on medication. I want to try alternative therapies. I feel more ready now than I have in a long time. I've become acutely aware that I'm throwing 300 mg of a chemical into my body everyday and although I was okay with this in the beginning - I didn't have much choice - I'm not so okay with it now. Things are different. I'm different.
I don't doubt that medication partly saved me from myself. But that doesn't mean I want to survive on it for the rest of my life. The G.P and I have agreed to reduce my dose gradually, but three days in and I'm already feeling the effects. I've been here before so I know what to expect. Withdrawal isn't a pleasant thing and I'm expecting my anxiety levels to worsen, but I'm also more prepared this time around. This is my choice. There will be no burying my head in the sand. I know this is going to be a rough ride but I intend to tackle any issues head on with techniques learnt in my therapy sessions.
I'm not by any means saying medication is a bad thing. And I certainly wouldn't want anyone reading this to feel that they too should stop taking their meds. This is a personal decision that I feel is right for me, just like it was right for me at the time to rely on medication when I was at my lowest.
Do you suffer from anxiety or depression? I'd love to hear what coping mechanisms you use.
Justine xxx
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You have to do what is right for you, i know how you feel I weaned of mine last year unfortunately for me it was not the right decision, my family suffered because of my decision, i am now back on Meds but this is right for me at this moment in time, I hope eventually I will be med free...good luck, i hope it all works out well for you x
ReplyDeleteIt's not an easy decision to make is it? I'm hoping to cope better this time around but I suppose only time will tell. You have to do what is right for you. I never in a million years thought I'd be at a place where I'd be saying 'Ok, I want to try without now.' So I guess none of us know what's around the corner. Thank you for your comment and kind words. I hope everything works out for you too xx
DeleteI came off meds (Sertraline) cold turkey about 2 years ago, when I decided to start a family. I was told that I could safely take Sertraline if pregnant, but I just didn't want to chuck chemicals into my body, into my baby's body. So I just stopped taking them. In retrospect, I probably should have been more sensible and done what you're doing. But I'm rarely sensible! Haha. I think you've made a good choice, and it's worth looking into things like CBT, mindfulness, even DBT. They can all be very helpful talking therapies, as opposed to medication. Good luck hun! You know where I am if you need me xxxx
ReplyDeleteThanks hun. That means a lot xx
DeleteI don't suffer from a prominent anxiety or depression, but I do know people who do (I'll link a post if you're interested!). The fact that you've made a decision for you has made me so happy and proud of you! Wishing you only the best on this x
ReplyDeleteKyia at WANDERLUSTGIRL// Lifestyle & Beauty
Let’s be BLOGLOVIN friends!
The Post: http://wanderlustgirl-kb.blogspot.ca/2016/07/living-surrounded-by-anxiety_30.html
Thank you for your kind words. I'll be sure to check out this link xx
DeleteI'm glad you're doing what you feel is the right thing to do for you and I'm here any time you need me xx
ReplyDeleteThanks Flo xxx
Delete